I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
