If that was your dad, he is hot
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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