How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
