We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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