sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
