i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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