I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
