im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
