You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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