My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize