i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
