if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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