I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
