Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
