Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
