it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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