I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
