I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
