I want to make a zoo with you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The adults are the big ones right?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
