My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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