He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
