just come out here and I will go home with you...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
