Don't make out with my wife yet
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
