direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
