Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
