I hope my margaritas pass through security.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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