ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
