I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
