I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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