So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
