I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
