i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
