so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
