you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So apparently I’m into choking now
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