Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
