Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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