A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
last night I used snow as a chaser
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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