FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
