it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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