we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
