i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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