I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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