Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
