it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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