my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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