you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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