your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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