Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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