I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
