Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
