she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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